A Transformative Month

31 March 2019

My daughter passed away early this month.

A dear friend remarked “the lion ate the lamb and then stayed.” For me, the lion ate my lamb and then stayed. Every winter that lion tried to get her. She was so close again this year.

Grief is a unique and deeply personal experience. I have been writing in a journal and will share as I transcribe my horrible handwriting. I will lurch forward and back; I expect this will, too.

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What to Call This? Nothing…

30 March 2019

One of the things I remember the most is Clair asking for a “long hug.” I was never much of a hug person. The cursory one is usual treatment; it generally brought me nothing. It was like an air kiss.

But for her, I was always happy to accommodate the “long hug.” I’d take her close and hold her tight for a long time. It was very sweet and simple. The stillness that would come after a while was one of the sweetest things I have ever felt. It is something I regret not doing much more in her last days. Continue reading “What to Call This? Nothing…”

My Pneumonic Devices

We all struggle with a lot of things-sometimes the same thing over and over and over again. I have found pneumonic devices to be helpful tools. Here are some of mine. 

Batteries always befuddled me; the ridiculous diagrams were no help at all. One day “smooth to spring” came into my head!

“Stationary” when you are talking about something that is not moving. “Stationery” when you’re talking about paper. A good way to remember this is that stationery has an “e” like envelope.

Cavalry and Calvary are often an issue with me. Am I’m sending Pulaski’s horses? Or am I sending a hill in Jerusalem?

My trick? “Cava” is a sparkling wine served at celebrations like the Kentucky Derby. Winning horses get champagne at the finish line. So, Cava equals cavalry!

“Take a left!” for a quick second I have to think. Even after decades of walking I have to decide. I do not know it instinctively! I probably never will either. So, I think about holding a pencil. There’s also the Smashbox reference about her “finger and her thumb in the shape of an L….”

10 Years? Really?

When this arrived in my Facebook feed late last year, I am sure I did not feel the warm fuzzy feeling that FB had intended me to feel.

I was rather horrified. 10 years? I had really been using Facebook for 10 years?

I started to think about the clicks and the time. How many? How much? I can’t imagine. Each click a drop in the bucket of the Facebook flood. Even the clicks to hide an ad enriched their “engagement numbers.” In a small, but very real way, I was part of the problem.

That, and many people use FB as a blog anyway. Who hasn’t see a 1,000 word post and said “TLDR” to themselves? Or you have that one friend who has denigrated into a ranty old person.
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