Dear French Press, it’s not you, it’s me…

Well it’s been a month. I really think I have given this French Press a valiant effort but I am done. Instead of leaving me feeling relaxed and sophisticated it has destroyed my morning routine.

French Press coffee takes so many steps. That barista is being modest and generous when she hands you that delicate pot; allowing you to take that coffee over the finish line, when she has done so much before you.

My morning with the drip coffee maker: Make the bed, push the button, feed and water the Max, take a shower, make breakfast, have coffee and eat breakfast.

My morning with the french press: Fill and begin heating the kettle, fill the coffee beaker with warm water, set it the beaker in the base, feed and water the Max, make the bed, wait for the water to heat (they say 210 degrees!), dump out the water in the beaker, put coffee in the beaker, pour the hot water into the beaker, stir (apparently there’s even a special stirring technique I am supposed to employ) wait five minutes, plunge, take a shower, pour a cup of coffee, make breakfast, then have coffee and breakfast. Only you can’t have coffee with it because it has to cool for 15 minutes before you can drink it. Are you exhausted just reading about it? I am. Every. Single. Day.

For all the work, you’d think it was coming out of a lab at Monsanto. Now I hear it can raise your bad cholesterol, too.

Let’s not even talk about the clean up involved. I have done less work cleaning my windows.

IT IS JUST TO MUCH!

So, yes, I am not a coffee connoisseur. I am happy to admit that I am fine with drip coffee, made with water that’s been in the reservoir all night, with beans that are not freshly ground to the exact right size for optimum, robust coffee flavor! I am abandoning the bourgeoisie and embracing  my petite bourgeoisie leanings and making my morning easy.

My parents drank Maxwell House instant coffee so at least I’ve risen above my station a little bit!

Now I just need to find a drip coffee maker that’s as small as a french press! I’ve gotten used to having a clear counter.

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